This video shows several kids talking about what they think love is. I think this is related to Raymond Carver's What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, in which four characters, two married couples, talk about their concept of love. For all of them, love is a different thing. All of them have different visions about this concept, even though they are in a relationship --marriage-- based on love. They basically base their lives on that, but fail to define it properly according to what they feel.
In the case of this video, these kids try to describe what love is but, unlike the characters of the story, they are unexperienced on the matter: they are not married, they haven't been involved in a relationship, they haven't had a partner, they probably haven't loved anybody yet. However, they have a notion of what love is about and its implications (getting married and having a family).
The characters in the novel are talking out of their experiences (like Terri and the experience with her ex-husband), but these children have no experiences on this subject at all. Therefore, what these kids say is what society has shown to them about love, what they have seen and heard. These kids reflect the very dissimilar visions of love that we have in our society. However, all of them come to the same point: love ends in marriage and in having babies. As a society, is that what love is for us? What are the messages that we are transmitting about love? The vision of the kids is different from the ones of the characters since, on the one hand, the latter are more experienced than the former and, on the other hand, they are affected by alcohol and they tell the truth from their inner feelings, from what they really believe.
I could be useful for us to think about what love is for us and about how we express that love in the world (at the end, that's what kids see and absorb). We should think how we explain and express love when we talk about love.
The first thing that I thought about when reading your post, though it may seem lame, is the common Spanish saying: "Los niños y los curaos dicen la verdad". In this sense, I believe kids do have a strong opinion in any matter. As life passes by, adults are constantly exposed to many elements of modern life that may affect our true view points about life. Consumerism, media and social policies are just some of the elements I could refer to to make my point. The truth is that children are pure in their view and feelings about existence, about life, even if they are not fully aware of that. I think I could disagree up to a point with the idea that they cannot love without experience: a hug, a kiss, a laughter, as hallmark as they sound, are the most innate expressions of love that human beings encounter with, and this is only possible by meeting a counterpart, a significant other, a reflection of the self in another. The most interesting thing I found about the video was the fact that some kids mention a ring to define love. A ring is a symbol, but a symbol of what? Some may say it represents a circle, a circle of life, as Rob Schneider says in 'Marry Larry'; some would say it is a holding, a precious thing to be kept to one and only; some would say it represents a bond, a commitment to another person; some would say it represents the institution of marriage and, consequently, the representation of the material gain. My point is, I don't mean to argue which is the correct one: I cannot really debunk someone's perception about a symbol. My point is that that one thing made me realize that my mind went in different directions just by the concept of a ring. 'Being the one is like being in love: no one can tell you that you're in love, you can only feel it" Morpheous says.
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ResponderBorrarAs you said, youngsters just follow the flow. Just when we grow up we start discerning from our experiences the shape we want our life to have. In the story, there is a clear tendency to negativism in Mel. He sees love with anger and frustration. He sees love as a treacherous feeling. And I doubt so much if he is actually in love with his current wife, Terri. She, beyond love, feels compassion to people. That inner compassion, hinders her from watching reality. Because the wounds that her last relationship caused on her, did not came to light at all, not even with alcohol. The problem with her is that she might feel love to people, even in her " special way to love", but she is unlikely to be loved back. So the way she perceives love is always through her own self- sacrifice, without receiving anything back, which is the mainstream conception that society has on love.
ResponderBorrarAnyways, we can see that both conceptions, once taken from experience, difer greatly from what society thinks what love is, and therefore, what kids things that love might be.
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ResponderBorrarI was about to answer Natalia´s post when I read Nelson´s comment: "Los niños y los curaos dicen la verdad". It´s funny that Nelson made this connection because actually in the story the ones that were talking about love were drunk: the drunker they were the more negative the vision of love became.
ResponderBorrarI agree with Natalia in the sense that what the kids said is a reflection of what society has imposed them, but at the same time they are too innocent to understand the negative connotation their words may have. As the young couple in the story, kids have not experience the dark side of love.